A Mother's Miscellany...or...What my kids get up to...

Ainslie on Easter. Since we definitely don't do easter in a traditional sense, we didn't dress in a traditional easter get-up either. Note Ainslie's "already smarter than Bush" shirt. It's my new favorite thing to put her in (thanks, Nora!).



This picture just makes me happy. Fionna has developed a habit of "going over the wall" when we get home, instead of going in the front door. The other day, she didn't materialize promptly at the back door like usual. When I went in search of her, I found her and her new Junie B. Jones book (courtesy of the Easter Bunny). She said she was climbing over and then "forgot to climb anymore."



This shot is here because it speaks to several of Ainslie's oddities lately. She's become a very eclectic dresser. Note, she's wearing not one but two pairs of Grady's underwear (over a diaper, of course, that's Grady's one stipulation for lending of undies). Also, she's sporting a tattoo on her tummy. It's more typically a bellyful of stickers but always some sort of belly art. And, again, the importance of two -- she has two water bottles. She sleeps with these, one in the crook of each arm.



It was a lovely Spring day here yesterday. Ainslie was eschewing her nap (I'm trying to pretty up what I typically state as "skipping the blankety-blank nap"), so I pruned my rose bushes, and the kids caught some rays. Not to mention, Ainslie had her first ice cream bar. She ate every bite (and required a bath afterward).



Dish-washing gone wrong. One minute, she's sitting, completely clothed, and handing me dishes as calmly as can be. Turn my back, she's in the bloomin' sink! Note the highly self-satisfied smile and just a peek of Grady's incredulity in the bottom left corner.

Now that's a dye job...

On being a tandem nursing mama...

This one may take some of you aback. As best as my (often poor) memory recalls, I haven't spoken of this before here. Grady and Ainslie are three yars apart. During my pregnancy with Ainslie, Grady had some dental issues and had to have work done under anesthesia. It was a difficult experience for us, and I made the decision to go ahead and night-wean then because I wanted to minimize any other dental issues (I do NOT believe breastfeeding causes cavities but I didn't want to feed the already present cavity-causing bacteria by providing breastmilk as a food source). It wasn't too long after then that Grady simply began weaning himself, with his complete weaning coming in April of 2006. He was just a few months shy of three years old.

So, fast forward to, I think, September of 2007. Grady begins asking frequently to nurse. This wasn't entirely new as he had periodically asked since Ainslie had been born. I never said no, but he had previously been content to either pretend to nurse or to just put his mouth to the breast (without sucking) for the merest of seconds and then declare himself "done." When he began asking frequently to nurse, I responded as I had been, but he persisted in asking more and more often, and not being content with the few moments at the breast. In addition, he began speaking very negatively of my loving Ainslie more, him not being my baby anymore, how much he missed nursing, etc. All combined, I felt unable to deny him a genuine opportunity to breastfeed because his need seemed to be so intermixed with his feelings toward his sister, his perception of my love, everything! So, I said yes. I truly did not think he would remember how. To this point, it had seemed very much like he no longer new how to latch-on. BUT, I was wrong. He rediscovered the ability with a vengeance.

Thus began Grady asking to nurse every time he saw Ainslie at the breast. She was a fairly new walker and so was often more interested in exploring everything around rather than being in my arms. Grady, on the other hand, was rediscovering his love of nursing and revelling in it. I remember saying to friends, "Grady nursed today more than Ainslie did!"

My feelings were mixed. I had no problems with nursing a child of his age, just past his fourth birthday, but we still had definite difficulties. When she did want to nurse, Ainslie was positive she didn't want to share. Whereas many moms figure out tandem positioning with a newborn and older child, I was suddenly thrown into attempting to position very squirmy and territorial one- and four-year-olds. Ainslie routinely gouged Grady's eyes and tore at his hair. And yet, his determination to nurse continued.

I also found the sensation of nursing two, especially two with extremely strong sucks, to be sometimes overwhelming. There were many times when I know I had a look on my face that strongly said "I'm just trying to get through this moment."

On the other hand, I had some aspects easier than many tandem nursing mamas do. Grady had been night-weaned for 20 months (in fact, he'd been completely weaned for 18 months). So, I had none of the nighttime disruption that some moms experience when they're called upon to nurse two. And I didn't deal with the extreme oversupply that can sometimes happen when a newborn arrives to an already nursing mother.

This brings us up to now, March of 2008. Grady will be five in July, Ainslie will be two. There's a lot of variability but Grady still nurses one to two times a day. He usually asks more but I try to offer a substitution. And, there's still those days that, for whatever reason, he seems to need it a lot, and he nurses several times. He hasn't seem to be self-conscious of it, which doesn't surprise me given that our social circle is comprised of so many nursing pairs and trios. He nurses most anywhere, in front of most anyone.

I've told him that when he turns five, our nursing days will be over. He is not keen on this. He even says, -- "if I don't take any birthday presents, it's not a real birthday and I can keep nursing, right?" But, I think I'm ready to be done. I say that I "think" because I am bittersweet all over again about this parting. I'm pleased and as proud of anything that I've ever done that I was able to give him something that he still had a genuine need for. And there's not a doubt in my mind that there's no coincidence that over the course of this winter when we've been sick and sick and sick again, Grady has been the healthiest. I think he combined the power of a slightly older immune system (compared to Ainslie) with receiving the power of Super Mama Milk (that Fionna no longer has) and managed to stay well, for the most part.

We'll see how the next few months evolve. I remind him frequently that he'll be five in about four months. He always immediately answers "I don't want to wean." And I counter with, "when we wean, we'll snuggle, we'll tickle, we'll read, we'll have special time anyway you want." I hope this message settles in, and that Grady won't experience those feelings of being left-out and sadness that he so acutely felt before. It's something I'm working hard on.

As for being a breastfeeding mother, I don't think my career is anywhere near over. Ainslie is more than meeting the challenge of keeping me occupied on this front. And that's just fine with me...

A very blustery day...

This is a phrase my kids grasped onto from early-on Winnie-the-Pooh stories. When the wind blows, they instantly bring out the "blustery" phrase and ponder if any of us are light enough to blow away like Piglet. I love how literal kids can be when they're so young. Anyway, my point is, it's very windy today, and has been for the most part for the past several days. That's spring where we live though. Despite the blowing dust, Lenny is being a trouper and is hard at work on my gardening project.

When I broached the idea of taking out the grass for the veggie/herb garden, I pitched it as a project that I *really* would treat as my own. In other words, it wouldn't be the typical project that I dream up and Lenny provides the labor for. Honestly, this has happened a lot in the past several years but it does have a certain amount to do with how bonded my kids are to me and the fact that for (geez, can it be) the last almost eight years, I've been breastfeeding somebody umpteen-times a day. So, this project is supposed to celebrate the fact that Ainslie, as our last, is almost two, and I'm anticipating a level of freedom that I haven't had. Of course, "anticipating" is the key word because it's not here yet but it's coming. I told Lenny that if he'd do the prep for the garden (which meant moving and recreating the chicken coop and then the heavy duty initial tilling of the ground), the kids and I would be responsible for the garden itself. I'm excited. I have often chafed at being inactive or unable to fully participate in my "projects." I think this garden is going to be perfect this summer. All of my children love the dirt, water and being outside. I can combine my "work" with lots of healthy summer play for them. I'm crossing my fingers that it works out that way, at least.

In other news, it's been a nice, fairly typical weekend. Fionna's soccer game was in the afternoon yesterday, so we were able to go to the Market, which is something I've greatly missed in the past several weeks. It was one of those great Market days that makes me thankful to have a place like the Farmer's Market. In COAS, the person helping us check-out couldn't read some of the prices, so she called another employee over. He told her to dispense with ringing us up because we were regular customers and we got five books for free. Granted, they were all used children's books but it was more about the kindness and recognition. Grady scored an "Ultimate Pokemon Handbook" that has him feeling very proud. I love COAS (a local used bookstore). Then, out on the Market, Fionna purchased a shell for her collection and the lady she bought it from gave each of the kids an additional shell. You just don't get that kind of friendly gesture at Wal-mart.

The soccer game was not our best. Fionna got hurt mildly and was intimidated to return to the game. But, she eventually calmed herself down and returned for a short bit. I think we lost, but the great thing about it is the kids don't know and there's really no emphasis on winning/losing. I absolutely love that.

To round out our weekend update, we had breakfast out this morning, followed by church, and a friend coming home with us to play. Happily, she and Fionna are including Grady, and Ainslie is napping, so I've had a nice hour or so of peace. :) We have soccer practice in just a little while (during which the friend will be picked up), and then it'll be the usual Sunday night get-ready-for-the-week routine.

A few years ago, I would have vehemently protested that I didn't "do" routines but now I appreciate the familiarity (and the fact that they help keep my kids "level"). Maybe I'm actually growing up (but probably not). ;)

Pistoleros pictures, at long last...

I've written before about the amazing basketball program we've been a part of since last September. It's called The Pistoleros and it's a ball-handling skills group, coached by a very knowledgeable, effective and nice guy named Rus. I say "we've" been involved because Grady happily practiced (and was so nicely tolerated, given that he's a good deal younger) for several months. But, as performance time drew near, he quickly became reluctant to give any impression that he wanted to perform, so he's backed off. But, Fionna has attended weekly practices since September and has had several half-time performances at local university games as well as one high school game. Last night was the conclusion and a mighty fine one at that. The Pistoleros got to show their skills at the WAC tournament, first outdoors in a meet/greet/warm-up-the-crowd scenario and then at the half-time of the women's game (which we won by the way, woohoo). Fortunately for you, my readers (haha), my mom was in town with her much nicer digi camera, and these pics are courtesy of her. :)

Our day in pictures...

All better! :)

I'm a couple of days getting this posted here. I feel badly because people have been so lovely about sending us positive thoughts and support. Ainslie and Grady are all better, I am so very happy to say.

We continued Ainslie with the oxygen through late Tuesday afternoon. When we saw the doctor that day, her oxygen was at a glowing 98, and her lungs sounded clear as a bell. Just to be precautionary, although he hadn't been as sick, the doctor gave Grady a once over and pronounced us to be all clear.

It's been great to have a tube-free child and to see her quickly bloom back into her old animated self. Children have such an amazing power to bounce back. The two pounds that she lost early on last week were made up between Friday and Tuesday when we discovered Ainslie had gained 1.5 lbs. Most likely through the help of the eight avocados that she scarfed down over the weekend. :) And I certainly don't discount the power of my own breastmilk.

So, we're back in the world of the living, and life goes on. Actually, life sweeps right on, at the same river rapids pace that it set before. We've played at the park this week, had a play date, two La Leche League meetings, and have a soccer game awaiting us tomorrow.

The "farm" is doing well, dogs and cats their same old lazy (with the exception of Lily who is hyper-hyper-hyper) selves. The chickens are doing great, laying a little less but that may well be due to the fact that we recently moved their chicken coop. This was in preparation for the larger fenced area that we're planning so that we can keep them out of the planned vegetable and herb garden.

I can't remember if I wrote about that yet. We tilled almost half of our grass up (and hauled out the grass). This weekend we're amending the soil with some sand and, eventually, compost. We'll be planting pretty soon as temps here are warming quickly. The trees have that bright spring green sheen to them as leaves start to pop, and our peach tree is all abloom. I'm very excited to get the garden in! :)