Pumpkin patch

Autumn is here, my favorite season! :)

The kids (Zephyr, Jubi, Grady & Ainslie ) and I are prepping to do a pumpkin/turkey craft this morning. Handling the plump, blazing orange pumpkins made me think of the day the family ventured out to the local pumpkin patch and maize maze last month and chose the pumpkins. We are fortunate to have this fun Fall venue right down the road from us, literally moments away.

Honestly, I'm not that big of a fan of the maze aspect. Where we live, even late October is frequently sunny and hot. And being somewhat directionally challenged, I'll admit to having never actually reached the end of the maze.

So, we've developed a routine of playing on the carts, tractors, the tricycle races, the tractor tire mountain, etc. Our main destination is always the big PVC plastic slides. And we always end up by choosing pumpkins to take home.

Conquering Tractor Tire Mountain. They vehemently refused to face the sun for me so we ended up with a dark picture.

Regretfully, I didn't catch a shot of it but this year Ainslie discovered the big slides for real, as in, she did them over and over and over and over and over all by herself (and with her best bud Jubi whom we had bumped into). No more lap sitting for Ainslie. :) Jubi and Ainslie perfected the art of sailing through massively long lines and crowded waits by just being small and scooting right on through.

Grady's moving pretty fast.

Lenny did manage to capture this shot of Grady and I. Grady, jealous that I was pulling ahead in what I didn't even realize was a race, grabbed hold. What he grabbed onto, with a iron grip, hurt like heck, thus my expression.


Something new and very fun this year was riding the pedal, go-carts around a track. Grady went around the junior track so many times I was tired just watching. He really enjoyed barreling around the curves, tilted to the side, making screeching sounds. Fionna was tall enough to ride a larger pedal cart on the main course, and Ainslie joined in on that one while riding on Lenny's lap.

All in all, another great day at the local pumpkin patch. I'm thankful for the fun, the friends, the memories and the pumpkins. We've done jack-o-lanterns (bad mom didn't get any pictures of those), strewn them around the front yard as decorations, and now we're onto turkey crafting. Stay tuned for those pictures (hopefully).

Full plate (a blog catch-up)

Sunset at White Sands one September evening

While I haven't felt particularly "bloggy" lately, I've also just been so damned busy. When my children were babies (and I had fewer kids, period), people would tell me, "Just wait until they're older and then things will be really crazy." I didn't get it then. The intensity of having babies and breastfeeding and being sleep deprived and touched out by going through day and night with a babe constantly in arms seemed so overwhelming that I couldn't imagine another phase of parenting that would consume my time in such a manner. BUT, now having three all with schedules and activities of their own and finding myself as the "GODDESS MOTHER of MAKING IT ALL RUN SMOOTHLY" gives me a new appreciation for how hectic family life is.

Fionna continues in public school, in third grade this year. She has drama after school one day a week and is in Taekwondo two afternoons a week. Grady is homeschooling, also doing Taekwondo twice a week, and in soccer (practice twice a week and games on Saturdays). Ainslie tags along for the ride but adds plenty of craziness to the mix, believe me. ;)

I have class on Tuesday nights, 6-8:30. I've gotten into a routine of grocery shopping after class, when the store is a bit less hectic, and I don't have the kids along to complicate things. My other two classes are online, so I do that classwork late at night and at stolen moments, waiting at Taekwondo, at soccer practice, etc. On the one or two days a week that the kiddoes are at Nora's, I do a big library trip (kids are checking out 30-40 books and audiobooks a month these days), hit the coffee shop and run other errands. Then it's home to do homework (and laundry, of course. That's another facet of family life that seems to be increasing exponentially). Three and a half hours alone seems like bliss but it always absolutely whizzes by.

I'm still teaching R.E. (stands for religious education but I find it a bit of a nisnomer, honestly, we don't talk about "religion") at the Unitarian Universalist church we attend on Sundays. I teach the primary class along with sweet LeeAnna who assists me and does childcare (for the very young children). We read books, do lots of arts and crafts and lovely free play with blocks, puppets, dress-up, trucks and cars, and a very nice, oversize dollhouse. I'm also still a La Leche League Leader and leading two meetings a month, one at my home and one in our public location, as well as taking phone calls and answering emails.

The hardest part, personally, is finding time to exercise. I'm trying to make that a priority, both for myself, and as a healthy model of the kids. Another difficulty I'm experiencing recently is, spending all my "free" time studying, I find absolutely no time to read for pleasure. I really miss it. :(

A new pleasure though is spending some time dancing, be it in public or home alone. I find it is a fabulous way to escape and leave my thinking mind and just "be." Fortunately, I have some inimitable women in my life to teach me and share this with. I look forward to developing it as another aspect of life, just as reading, that I can pull out and destress with whenever I choose.

While I haven't had the time to devote to it as I would like, another of my loves, herbalism and essential oils are still a huge part of life for me. While I didn't think of it too much over the summer, with the advent of cooler weather and sick season, I find myself turning more and more often to my herbal cabinet and brewing teas and oiling blends to tend us all.

Time to get off the computer and busy (going to de-germ the house, we've all been sick). In the meantime, I'll leave you with some recent pictures.

Lenny's belated birthday celebration with family & friends.

Grady lost his first tooth. :)

The substance of my days...

Halloween crafting

We all know, life has its rhythms and seasons, the ebb and flow. And one of the major "flows" of life for me these days is time spent with children. Duh, you may say, but I'm referring to a different quality of time spent with kids. For months now, maybe 9-10, I've been engaging in a childcare exchange with a very close friend, Nora. Her kids, Zephyr and Jubi are absolutely bestest buddies with my two youngest, Grady and Ainslie. Both pairs, the "girls" and the "boys" are within a year of age of each other, and they just get along fabulously. So, once or twice a week, I have our young friends over for about 3.5 hours. The kids pair off and play in such a way that I almost always am left with this idyllic sense of "Aha, this is the beauty of childhood!" Their nonsense games and imaginative play leave me admiring the essence of their quirky fun and their ability to find ways to engage and occupy themselves in any number of myriad ways. While seldom do I need to actively work to engage them, I've found that this has freshened my perspective of playing with kids. I enjoy thinking of games (like number scavenger hunts) and crafts (today, sheet ghosts, clay skulls and pipe cleaner skeletons).

block city

Another fabulous benefit for our family is that on days when our friends are over, the tv is never even a thought. Television and my children's ridiculous obsession with it have always been one of my top struggles. They don't need the television though when there's hands-on, wild fun right in their own home. I don't have to remind them to go outside because they're eager to play there together. They even eat better when they're all together. :) I know, I sound like I'm a promoter for my particular situation but it's become such a joy and made for such easy, happy days that I can't help but gush. :)

block rocket flying to the (foil) moon

I'll be the first to admit that my own children have and do often tax my patience with their constant noise (I do love me some peace and quiet) and clamoring for me to play yet another pretend game in which I'm coached to repeat inane "lines" that I'm not allowed to change. Somehow, though, the scheduled built in playmates have really taken the pressure off of me as my kids now have even better playmates than ol' mom. AND, don't get me wrong, the one or two mornings to myself per week when my kids are at their friends' house don't hurt my overall appreciation for our situation. That is when I do get the chance to have peace and quiet, and all manner of other things that aren't as easy to come by when the rugrats are under foot. :)

camping in the kitchen

tea party in big sister's bed

Tormadoes...

No, my spelling isn't going south. That's how Grady pronounces the name of his new soccer team, the Tornadoes. This is one mispronunciation that I can't let stand. He's already told two people that he plays with the Tormadoes and they both said something along the lines of "Tornado or tomato?" Grady looked at me each time with a look like, "Gee, which is it, mom?"

So, he does indeed have a new soccer team. He's playing U8 (eight and under) this year so it should be faster paced than last year (played U6). School starts next week for Fionna, so I'm already girding my loins for the nonstop schedule that will bring.

I haven't blogged about it since it's such a sore point but we no longer have our chickens. A neighbor complained about the noise and since the lovely, non-progressive city we live in doesn't allow chickens (even hens only as our's were) in the city limits, we were visited by animal control and given 24 hours to get rid of the "girls." Luckily, the neighboring, small (and smarter ;) ) township does allow chickens and, even better, two sets of friends were happy to incorporate some of hens into their existing flocks. So, the "girls" got split up and sent to two new homes. The kids were initially devastated but haven't stayed blue over it. I, however, miss them tremendously. I miss feeding them our food scraps, I miss gathering their lovely eggs that I admired every single time I handled them, I miss their quiet, companionable sounds. :(

Snippets...

Oh, my poor little blog. Woefully neglected. Life is just...life. Busy, tumultuous, laden, exhausting, sometimes just dull and boring, but whatever it is, I'm not good at being a steady, disciplined writer. Something to add to my list of life "to-do's." Today, mentally chuckling over some of my kids' "funnies," I decided I'd quit letting them fall by memory's wayside and begin chronicling them, in snippets. No, not as fulfilling as the full-on journaling that I liked to do in my blog but they'll certainly have their own value. And maybe visiting the ol' blog more often, even for moments, will help me get back in the habit.

So, here goes:

Today, following Lenny to breakfast (he's in his tow truck, we're in the car), Grady shouts eagerly, "We're right on his tail." Ainslie, who's been wailing and grumpy all morning, laments in the saddest, crying voice: "My daddy doesn't have a tail. He's a boy." She just got angrier as we all hooted with laughter.

Ainslie is heavy-duty into the tea parties these days. Pretend, with many, many nonsensical elements, they get a bit onerous (hey, I'm being honest here. The other day, as I snoozed my way through yet another one, literally, laying on her bed, surrounded with stuffed animals and other bits and pieces of her pretend world, I hear her say: Mama, your eyes need to wakey up. We're having a tea party here."

Another one, that Ainslie will someday hate me for setting to paper (or screen, as it is): She comes up to me, sticks one index finger right into my face, up against my lips, and I pretend bite it. We often pretend to gobble each other up. This time she says "Oh, don't do that. I just stuck it in my yoni (our word for vagina and all girl-parts in general) and I need to wash it." I have a feeling the look on my face was priceless.

I'm drawing a blank for Fionna. Interactions with a nine-year-old are just different. All that comes to mind for Grady right now is that he's been saying "horse field" a lot, for "force field." Does it make me a bad parent that I don't correct him as I consider it so cute? :)

How to Dye Easter Eggs Naturally...

How to Dye Easter Eggs Naturally

This is a new blog I've started reading recently. I enjoyed this entry. Natural dyes always seemed like maybe a lot of work, or less than vibrant colors, to me before. This makes it sound both easy and beautiful. It seems like we work so hard to make sure we have the best and most natural eggs to eat, it's only fair to make dying them naturallly of equal priority. That's something else I need to fit into the next week, an egg dying affair. Even though we don't celebrate Easter, we always welcome in Spring with some lovely eggs...

Come see us, and a chicken, tomorrow!!!

This just in...We get to repeat the fabulous fun we had last Spring at the local Farmer's Market. We will be there with the local group C.L.U.C.K. (Citizens Legalizing Urban Chicken Keeping), and we will have one of our chickens in tow. We had so much fun last year and got to chat with and interact with so many people. Come be part of the fun. :)

Just life...

I haven’t blogged in awhile. Usually, when I have a blogging hiatus, it meant life was too crazy, I was too overwhelmed, or the like. Those things are probably all currently true but I think the main reason is honestly that I haven’t had a “theme.” Yes, I’m the quintessential English-major type that organizes her blogs, even the mental ones, by theme. But, because I know the blogging habit is one kept up, even sporadically, here I am.

I’m calling this one “just life” because that’s what’s been happening. Neither the horrible nor the wonderful, just the usual. We have been busy, no doubt about that. We’re at the time of year when one kid activity hasn’t quite ended and yet another has begun and so they run head into tail into another one (Fionna has three semi-overlapping activities happening right now). The time change has the kids just a little overtired and myself just a bit worse at keeping us on a semi-routine.

I am feeling some urgency in regards to my yard and garden. Spring is springing, that bright new golden green graces so many trees and bushes and plants here where we live. Bulbs are blooming, as are fruit trees and other hardy plants like some of my sages. We’ve already seen early frogs venturing out although, alas, we found one oh-so-tiny guy frozen and dead on our concrete in the back yard. We had a few surprise almost-freezing nights. I guess he should have consulted the Froggers Almanac. Our young chickens (the one-day-old chicks we purchased mail-order in November) are maturing and venturing into the egg laying kingdom. Their eggs are so small compared to our mature layers, very cool to see. They live with the "big" chickens now; we opened the barrier between their two pens so both groups could have additional space. There's definitely a pecking order, younger hens seldom get first pick at choice scraps, but nothing truly amiss has gone on between the two groups. Pretty good, I'd have to say, for nine "women" confined together.

Our turtle, Myrtle, is once again an outdoor turtle. She seemed particularly mopey of late, venturing out of her rock cave less and less often. She would come out for a few bites of banana every few days but she hadn’t been cavorting in her water dish, or chased crickets in several weeks. My comfort level with keeping a wild animal captive is never very high….so, we released her into our backyard last week. She’s in an area with ivy growing on the ground and low on the wall. It has some nice cypress mulch from a previous gardening attempt (trying to keep violets moist enough here to survive. Didn't happen. I still didn't keep them wet enough). We do have some garden edge pavers bordering it but I think if she badly wanted to, she could get out. However, at this point, all she seemed to want to badly do is to burrow deep and dark. Perhaps we interrupted her normal hibernation by keeping her inside and semi-awake all winter. I’m glad she’s back in the big world, but I hope she’ll share the occasional glimpse of herself with us, ever so often.

I have, essentially, one month of school left. Although there’s a bit more than that on the calendar, by the end of April, most of my assignments will be (or should be) wrapped up. I eagerly await it although mounds and mounds of work will have to be scaled between then and now. I’m already mentally struggling with the question of summer school. Right now, for us school equals loans and loans equal income, so I should go. The question is can I swing it? I’m not sure how online summer school classes would work; I’m imagining they are intense.

Well, my upcoming week holds busyness – typical school and kid park playday schedule, American Indian week at the University including a couple of functions I’d like to attend (Parade of All Nations and an Expo this weekend with drumming and dancing), Fionna has a museum field trip that the little ones and I will tag along on, La Leche League meeting at my house Thursday night, two birthday parties this weekend, a visiting Irish fiddler I’d love to see on Saturday night…

Like I said, it’s just life.

So proud. My lemonade award. :)

Mostly, my blog is just my way of updating friends and family. Within myself (but probably not so much for others), it is also a creative outlet, letting me write and ponder what's happening in my world. I also wouldn't mind if it were more of a soapbox for issues near and dear to my heart, but those posts usually live on in my 'noggin. So, I was the very surprised, and proud, recipient of the news that I'd been nominated for the "Lemonade Award." Needless to say, it made me very happy for my humble little blog to get such a nice pat on the back. Thank you, Becca. :)

Here are the rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude

3. Link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Share the love and link this post to the person from whom you received your award.

I must admit, Becca and I share the same circle of people that we admire and read. So, normally I'd be tagging Nora and Connor. I'm going to reach outside of the blogs of people I actually know though and tag people who are strangers to me and, yet, have impacted me with their writing.

Therefore, the "Lemonade" goes to:

The Medicine Woman's Roots -- Kiva Rose is an herbalist extraordinaire. I also admire to the extreme the life she chooses to make for herself and those important for her.

The Crunchy Chicken -- This blogger is at the forefront of thinking about conservation and low-impact living. I always learn something and am spurred to analyze my own behaviors in regard to the issues she addresses.

Sweet/Salty -- This blogger experienced the loss we all dread, that of a child, and has repeatedly humbled and moved me with her courage to share what she's feeling and going through. I imagine I'd read her blog regardless (I love the wit and honesty) but encountering this blog just about at the point that her twins were born, I found myself drawn in in the most compelling of ways.

Breastfeeding & Scheduled biopsy? Read on...

http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com/2009/02/03/breastfeeding-scheduled-for-a-biopsy-read-this-and-pass-it-on/

Breastfeeding? Scheduled for a biopsy? Read this and pass it on.
February 3, 2009
Today I have a guest post from Tanya of Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog. She’s trying to spread the word about this valuable research and I’m happy to do my small part by passing it along to you. The original post is here and it is copied and pasted (with permission) below.
Picture this: You’re breastfeeding. You notice a lump. First maybe you think it’s a plugged duct. But then it doesn’t go away, after many, many feedings. You’re worried about it, so you make an appointment with your doctor, who doesn’t think it’s related to breastfeeding. She sends you for a mammogram, but you’re told that you’ll have to have weaned for six months before the test can be done. What do you do?*
I’ve mentioned before that I’m involved in a powerful research project based at the University of Massachusetts, and supported by the Love/Avon Army of Women breast cancer project.
I’d like to explain more about it now, and ask for your help in recruiting participants for it.
It’s probably news to most of us (it was to me) that when you make milk, cells from your milk ducts are exfoliated off in the process. These are called epithelial cells, and they’re detectable in your milk.
Past research has demonstrated that long before we notice a lump, those epithelial cells start changing in ways that are precursors to the development of breast cancer.
Dr. Kathleen Arcaro, a UMass professor who studies breastfeeding and breast cancer risk wants to analyze those cells. She’s been nice enough to visit a breastfeeding group I run, and answer questions about breastfeeding and breast cancer.
The primary goal of her research is to determine if it’s possible to create a non-invasive, early way of assessing our breast cancer risk through our breastmilk. If it’s successful, it would also establish ‘molecular biomarkers’ for breast cancer risk.
An additional benefit to breastfeeding mothers is that we would not be told, as some are, to wean before a mammogram or biopsy can be done. No more choosing between breastfeeding and a breast cancer test. It could be as simple and sending in a milk sample to a lab!
In order to conduct this research, Dr. Kathleen Arcaro needs to find 250 women who are both lactating and scheduled for a biopsy. To participate, you’d overnight milk samples to her lab, at no cost to you.
So if you, or someone you know, is both breastfeeding and scheduled for a biopsy, please ask them to email either me, Dr. Arcaro, or Dr. Sarah Lennington as soon as possible. You can visit the project’s website to learn more.
If you write a blog or are in contact with lots of moms on a forum, please pass this link around!
And if you haven’t done it yet, register for the Love/Avon Army of Women. You’ll join one million women volunteering to become part of a rich pool of women researchers can use to find the causes and prevention of breast cancer. You can see other participating studies on the site. Here’s a recent Today Show clip on the project.* Mammograms can be done on lactating breasts, but they are viewed as less accurate than on non-lactating breasts. Some doctors will do them, others require mothers to wean first. Some send mothers for ultrasounds.

Getting those photos taken care of...

Grady, second from right on the bottom row, at his first Tae Kwon Do demonstration in January.



These three Tae Kwon Do shots come from the practice room. This is where a lots of wild rumpuses occur after class. Grady adores it.

Ainslie, in an "Ainslie original." Not one, not two but three dresses, layered. She went to church this way.

This is what happens these days when you tell Ainslie to smile for the camera. For some reason, those eyes just can't stay open...

Christmas morning, 2008. We never have too many shots, too busy helping the kids whirl through their gifts. Fionna here is receiving, what I am told, is a girl's requisite Barbie styling head.

Sad to say, my only xmas shot of Grady is this horribly blurry thing. At least he's happy (it's a pinball game that he's opening).

Ainslie very much loved opening gifts, anyone's gifts, this year.

Waiting for her sit-and-spin... (I just typed sit-and-spit. That would be the Grady version.)

A rare, these days, happy shot of all three. Ainslie, again, created her own outfit.

Fionna at her Winter school music show. She was thrilled to be front and center, right by the mic. A starlet's dream...

Making homemade gingerbread houses (also known as eating lots of powdered sugar frosting).

Grady, at that point, had eaten a little less than Ainslie. You can actually recognize what he's up to.

Bummer, I can't get it to turn the right direction. You get the idea. More corny kid holiday cheer. :)

Just a check in...

I don't seem to have the mental room these days to ruminate on blogs (I used to get around to posting only a fraction of the one's I'd mentally mapped out), much less share pictures with everyone). The picture deal is partly because the digi camera uploads to the desktop computer, and I'm always on my (new, and so fabulous) laptop.

But, I thought some sort of an update would be better than nada, right?

School for me is starting to get into full swing. I'm enjoying it far more than I anticipated. Before starting, it just sounded like adding "x" amount of work to my already full days but now I'm seeing the payoff, and thus the motivation, as I am becoming more and more interested and engaged with what I'm learning. It all seems very relevant and applicable, and those are absolute musts for me. I'm not good with theoretical crappola that I can't imagine ever using (I'm sure my high school math teacher heard me spout these words a few dozens of times).

School has proven to be a bit more frustrating for Fionna, of late. Homework is coming home in droves (I'm talking like 2 hours worth per night). I've reached the point where I have entered into "Grand High Executive Decision-Making Mode" and I just deem that she won't do most of it. It's worksheets, mind-numbing, repetitive, you get the picture. So, we do the more crucial stuff and pitch the rest. I plan to address it with her teacher in the next few days. I think some is AES stuff that is supplementary and supposed to keep her from being bored but it seems punitive to her when it just means she slaves away with her pencil for even more time at home. Our unfortunate children here are getting one mere 20-minute recess per day and that combined with the excessive homework has me very frustrated. I got to the point the other night that I offered her the option of pulling out of school for the remainder of this year, homeschooling, and re-evaluating in the Fall. Of course, she refused. She's a social little creature.

Grady maintains that he has no interest in attending kindergarten in the Fall. I think it's mostly a combination of separation and social anxiety. But, I honored Fionna's feelings when she was at this stage, and I'm committed to doing the same for Grady. We currently work, when the opportunity lends itself and he's in the mood, on number identification, letter sounds, the fine motor skills of beginning handwriting (with dot-to-dots, mazes, drawing letters). He's not really into this stuff but sometimes finds it exciting, and I try to capitallize on those moments. I do feel very positively about Grady's social circle and extracurricular activities right now. We seem to be in the midst of one of those golden times when we have lots of wonderful friends and lots of opportunities to spend time with them. I absolutely love our looong, extended park days and impromptu playdates. And soccer and Tae Kwon Do continue to be really fun, pleasing activities for Grady. I love seeing him so engaged and eager and having such fun.

Ainslie....I feel like she's made some developmental leaps just recently. Her pretend play is evolving and becoming more complex. What's really uncanny for me is how closely she mimics the ways in which Fionna engaged in pretend play. The themes, the behavior, it's all so similar. I use to call Fionna the "little director," and Ainslie is making an excellent play at being the Little Director Numero Dos. She has very, very particular ideas of what she'd like to play with me and how I should participate. So, it's not enough to play "house" type of games. I have to be in a certain spot, do a certain number of things, say just the right things, etc. I spend a lot of time on her bed (a prop, considering that she sleeps in the big family bed in THE bedroom) in her room, eyes closed, pretending to be the baby. My one weekly absence, on Monday nights for class, is really causing her an increase in sadness. She handled it well at first but her distress seems to be escalating. I've just decided, on someone's advice, to try to be more matter-of-fact about it and try to get away from making it a big deal. Hopefully she'll soon settle into it as just another part of our routine. Although it's a three hour class, she goes to bed within 30-60 minutes of me leaving so it's not anything that should disrupt her routine all that much. Ainslie is also starting to really love and seek out certain characters. Dora is an unfailing hit, as are Pooh Bear and the 100 Acre Wood gang. She also just started to notice and ask for Mickey and Minnie Mouse, which is funny because Fionna went through a Mickey and Minnie love affair at almost the exact same age. I was even able to dig through the big closest of saved clothing/shoes and pull out two pair of Minnie shoes in just Ainslie's size.

Well, the Dora episode which bought me the time to write is ending. And I have a LLL homevisit in about an hour which means I really ought to be showering and picking up the house (the mom is coming to me this time). Dear Blog, I promise to try to get some pictures up. I miss seeing evidence of our happy days on here. Until then...hasta...

What day is it?

Yes, I'll admit it. I frequently think that as I wake up in the morning these days. And it's not impossible that I have to ask myself the question again as I travel through the day.

School has begun for me, along with some other new family ventures, including Tae Kwon Do, spring soccer (those two for Grady) and Drama Club, SEMAA (a university/elementary cooperative science-themed after-school program), a day of homeschooling, and spring dance for Fionna. All while we continue Pistoleros and the things I was already committed to doing, like leading La Leche League meetings and doing home visits and teaching the primary class in Religious Education on Sundays at our local Unitarian Universalist church. My friend Nora just blogged about what a regular week looks like for them. I was struck by the contrast between what my former weeks looked like and what my current weeks look like. Life really does evolve dramatically as your children grow and develop interests. When you throw mom's and dad's interests into the mix, it can get quite insane. For posterity's sake, here's a page out of my weekly calendar right now...(I'll exclude all the entries relating to the nine credit hours I'm taking, the ones saying read such-and-such article or do this online quiz or write this paper).

Monday: 3 hours of bliss as Nora watches Grady and Ainslie (part of our child-care exchange). Simultaneously, Fionna is home as Monday is now our home-school day (she's staying home one day of the week to home-school). Fionna and I begin our time sans younger sibs with a half-hour walk. Then I try to work either on my own school needs or organizing the house for the week (this might mean menu planning, intense laundry processing or just cleaning). Fionna is working on learning to type, and then just follows her interests... When Ainslie and Grady return home, we have one of our quieter days with nothing much to do for the rest of the afternoon until it's time for me to get supper going. Monday night I have a class from 7:20-9:50 so I'm quite focused right now on Mondays being smooth and very on-schedule, to minimize any upset for the kids (and Lenny) as I leave and he takes over bedtime. After class, I often return home to study/read more before heading to bed.

Tuesday: Playgroup, as always. An addition though is I'm taking my cousin's daughter Kat to playgroup with us and then dropping her off at daycare afterward. We have a short break between playgroup and then it's off to pick up Fionna, drop her at dance, and then race to Tae Kwon Do. After that, we race again to pick up Fionna and then it's home for homework, supper, baths, etc. Again, I'm trying to make sure Tuesdays are smooth sailing as I have a weekly one-hour chat on Tuesday evenings for one of my online classes. Once a month, a mere fifteen minutes after I finish up that chat session, I will have to be on the phone for a La Leche League of NM Area Administration Team conference call. That takes usually an hour to an hour and a half. After that, it's studying again for me.

Wednesday morning is open (thankfully), and I often use this time to grocery shop. Fionna has Drama Club on Wednesdays after school so we pick her up an hour later than usual. We have an awkward gap between that and soccer practice so we've began heading to an area park for the kids to play, while I study on the sidelines. Soccer practice (did I mention I'm newly the assistant coach) at 5:15, lasting until 6 and then we race home to have supper (if I'm lucky, I've got supper going in the slow-cooker). Once a month, we have a potluck with some friends that we try to make, if my kids aren't too exhausted.

Thursday: My kids love this day as it means that Zephyr and Jubi are headed over to our house to spend three hours with us. Sometimes I accomplish household tasks (like folding or hanging laundry) but sometimes I just play. Either scenario works well. After they head home, we have another short break and then it's off to Tae Kwon Do. After that, we do our usual hustle to get Fionna from SEMAA (a program, cooperatively taught by the local university and the local elementaries, teaching science) and then we really have to race to make it to Pistoleros (we're often a bit late). You may or may not remember that this is the basketball handling group that the kids have done for a couple of years. Not only do we have weekly hour-long practices but we have several performances at university games scattered throughout the season. One week a month, the evening La Leche League meeting (held at my house) falls on this night and we go straight from basketball to that.

Friday: Only one monthly scheduled activity, a La Leche League meeting on the first Friday of the month. Other than that, this can be a catch-up day for me and a mellow, at-home day for my kids. Once or twice a month though, Grady does have the opportunity to attend an optional Tae Kwon Do sparring practice that we try to attend.

Saturdays: Almost always, we head to the Farmer's Market. We've been going there regularly (at least the kids and I, Lenny when he can manage) for probably 5 years at least. You can't beat the atmosphere (music, good foods, local goodies) and the opportunity for two storytimes (with tokens for free books at my favorite bookstore on earth). Right now, Saturdays are about to get busy with soccer games as well. At other times of the year, it can be a more mellow. And, there's always the variable of birthday parties and other social invitations. Today, for instance, we have both a birthday to go to and a supper invite.

Sunday: For the past year and a half, I've been teaching the Primary class (kids age 2-5) in Religious Education at the Unitarian Universalist we attend. For the curious, this class isn't really about teaching religion but about teaching that people believe and honor their beliefs in a wide variety of ways, across the world. UU's aren't really religious per se but rather are more often worried about social action, equity for all, respect for our fellow humans, some are spiritual, etc. (Just in case you thought it odd that I'd be going to church, lol. You're not the first).

Recently, Lenny and I have been switching off on the weekends to try to give each other kid-free time. For me, it's about studying and working on school word; Lenny has recently started playing paint ball with friends. So, for instance, Lenny may take the kids to the river, a local duck pond or the park. When it's my turn, I usually do our usual routines (like the Farmer's Market or church or a birthday party) and don't guilt Lenny into coming.

Busy times. It makes me smile to think of the days when I only had Fionna and looked forward to a weekly grocery shopping trip, or maybe picking Lenny up from work. Although, that was just as hard, the isolation and loneliness, as the busy schedule can be.

Sad beyond words...

I had some horrible news tonight. A good friend, someone I don't get to talk to much anymore, but nevertheless, a very good friend, has found out her young daughter has a terminal genetic disorder. She let me know, as she asked for help for another family, suffering from the same grim news, except in their case, they will lose two children to this disease. In honor of her little one, I pass on her request...

http://www.ahundredforahome.com/

If you can't help this family personally, pass the word around. The idea that keeps revolving through my head is: It could be any one of us...

I think I can honestly call this one "Me"

I sit here, feeling a heavy burden of words, phrases, thoughts, experiences damned up, having spent time waiting for the bloggy moment. They were so poignant, so pressing and vivid as I did them, thought them, created them but now they are all of a jumble. I meant, last time I managed to blog, to write what for me was going to be a momentous blog, relating major changes in our family's life, changes that have been afoot or astir since last summer. And I didn't get it done. So, the pent up morass seems even more dense. I'll see how much I manage to relate now...

I think that I stand upon a cusp, a precipice, into a new phase of my life. Early last summer, Lenny lost his job of eight years. It was initially a staggering blow as we've lived paycheck to paycheck, week to week for oh-so-long, probably ever since I quit my job when Fionna was 18 months, and we just began taking it one day at a time. The blow softened and then even transformed as my enormous, titanic relief became manifest that Lenny no longer was working a job that sucked so much of the marrow from our lives. We realized what it was to have time together, to make family commitments and plans and actually follow through. Of course, our ability to enjoy this time was much strengthened by the fact that my mom came through in a Herculean way and carried us financially for a few weeks. When Lenny found a job, I think about two-three weeks later, we realized that although a very ideal job (as another towing job it combines his apparent ideal profession with some more flexibility and respect for family needs, in a way the other job never did), we were making a little less than half of what we'd previously made. Again, my mom saved the day in making ends meet for us when our paycheck couldn't. This is not to say that life carried on as usual, with my mom footing the bill. We let our only vehicle go, now driving a 12-year-old repo'd car (very generously bestowed upon us by Lenny's new employers). Lots of bills went unpaid, luxuries certainly disappeared. I discovered what it is to be humble and seek assistance in the form of WIC and food stamps. But life went on and, again, was actually sweeter in so many ways.

So, this brings us to my own personal anticipated changes. We knew we could not continue to rely on my mom's support. The economy is hitting everyone, her no less than others. While work was an option, it weighed oh-so-heavily upon me to think of leaving my younger two before the time that Fionna and I had experienced separation (when she started school, at six). So, in an attempt to blend considerations, make money and prepare for the future, I'm returning to school, graduate school, at night and online. The "making" money part will come in the form of student loans. Further debt, yes, but positive debt with a definite goal in mind. I'm going to be pursuing an MA in Education, with the goal of becoming a Language Arts/English teacher. My ideal job would be community college/university classes but I'm sure I'll end up teaching high school first.

The pluses? Earning an income that, to my family living so meagerly, looks very posh. Having a schedule very similar to what my children will be following while in school. Not being on the job until very soon before or actually until Ainslie enters kindergarten.

The downside? Letting go of some dreams that weren't financially feasible but still have holds on my heart. Letting go of the option of full-time homeschooling my kids if we should ever opt for that. Re-entering the establishment and rat race that I was all too happy to kiss goodbye. The likelihood of having some overwhelming times as the dynamic of this household has always pretty well been that the kids, the house, the pets/garden/critters are all my domain.

So, perhaps, this sheds some light on why things, seemingly mundane, have seemed major to me. Life continues to go on and in a very swimming fashion. I have three happy, healthy and very busy children. I'm just trying to find my own path in the sometimes swampy terrain of how I continue to be the be-all-and-end-all for them (right now) and forge myself in new ways...

Well, I had more to say about my adventures of this morning (child-free, trying to repair our chicken coop, high comedy, yes) but my hands are too cold to type. Must seek hot (caffeinated, of course) beverage... ;) Ta!