Hitting where it hurts...

I bought a new book, Mommy Wars, a couple of weeks ago. I haven't yet begun to read it as I've been immersed in several herbal texts lately. But I've had a couple of experiences in the past days that make me think perhaps I have some insight into why mothers tear other mothers down. Whether it's single mom versus partnered-mom, SAH versus WOH, AP-style versus old-school discipline, it seems to be the trend that someone has to be right at the other's expense. This morning, when my heart was feeling a little heavy in regard to mommy-issues, it seemed so clear. When the world hits us where it hurts (namely right smack in that monstrously huge love we have for our child[ren]), we're vulnerable, defensive. It seems so trite to say but, goddess, what I wouldn't give for a parenting world where we could just all get along.

I know it isn't necessarily true, but there are times I feel I'm straddling such a fragile, negligible thread of a line between being the parent I want to be, believe in being, and being the parent that, well, just happens. The one who is blogging while her son watches Kim Possible and dishes totter precariously on over-burdened counters. If I feel this desperation, this doubt, how must mothers who are less fortunate than I (in their moral support, financial situation, whatever) feel. Conversely, one might look at me and think "privileged" by some accounts, but have no concept of the inner demons I battle. Point being -- we're all individuals just doing the best with what we've got.

Blech, that sounds preachy but my heart just feels full today.